Why is this important to be sensitive to? You don't mean any harm by asking such an innocent question. Your intentions are good and you are just trying to be supportive. I used to ask the same question and have the same innocent mentality. That is until I started having my own reproductive problems.
Over the summer I had a large cyst on my ovary. I went in for what was supposed to be an easy and normal cyst removal. What I got instead was a diagnosis of stage 4 Endometriosis and the removal of my whole ovary. OK, so I lost an ovary, but I can still have children with the other one. The hurdle in this situation is my Endometriosis.
After the surgery I followed up with an Endo specialist who informed me that I would need another surgery to remove the Endometriosis and that the chances of me getting pregnant naturally were about 2%. How in the world can this be? I have wanted to be a mother since I was 4 years old. I love children and now I am facing fertility problems?
I have accepted the fact that I will need fertility treatment in order to conceive a child, and I understand that even the treatment may not work. I also understand that when people ask me when I am going to start having children that they are doing it from the kindness of their hearts.
What I want you to understand is that every time you ask me that question you bring a tear to my eye, you make my heart sink a little, and you remind me of the guilt I carry for putting my husband through this. You remind me of the difficult times I have ahead and you remind that this pregnancy process should be a fairly easy one.
We all have our own cross to bear. And this is mine. I am not here to complain, collect sympathy, etc. I am simply writing this so you will think twice before asking a woman when she will be pregnant. You never know what she may be going through.
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